LXXVII. Last Laugh? One Day…
December 20th, 2006
Well, I’ve been snubbed by Comedy Central yet again.
First, they turned down my show, Martin Sargent: Web Drifter, which now airs on Revision3. And then, a couple of weeks ago? I went to the taping of their end of year comedy gala, “Last Laugh,†and more tragedy ensued.
When you’re at one of these Hollywood tapings, cameramen are positioned throughout the audience taking shots, so the producers can edit in reactions of people laughing. Well there was a cameraman right next to me and my lovely, though high maintenance, date for a good amount of the evening, and I made sure to supply him with tremendously boisterous reactions to the fine comic material of featured performers Lewis Black, Greg Giraldo, and Patton Oswald. So I figured, “My date and I are by far the best looking people here, and we’re laughing up a storm not only because it’s funny, but because we’re both desperately out of work and want to get on TV, so surely they’ll include us in the broadcast.†Thinking it’s assured, a foregone fucking conclusion, I invite people over to watch this thing, prepare a hearty repast of crudités and sundry fine cheeses and crusty breads of various local provenance, telling everyone I’d be featured—finally—on Comedy Central, as is my birthright.
Well, we never showed up. I mean, there’s one shot from a camera in back of Patton Oswald performing, from which you could sort of make us out for a few frames–look for me wiping nose shot across my hand (I had the sneezles)–but essentially I was snubbed and therefore HUMILIATED in front of my quickly departing guests, who included Don Cheadle.
All I can figure is that the editors recognized me and didn’t want to upstage the performers by showing me in the audience. It’s the only logical explanation. Have any of them ever hosted a late night talk show on extended digital plus tier platinum cable? No, they have not. Therefore I am more important, that is to say, better.
But all kidding aside, it was a fantastic evening of exemplary performances and a legendary after party, and thanks to Comedy Central for graciously inviting me. My companions and I had a super evening. Just super.
But sadly, I think my best bet of getting on TV again is to arrange a date over the Internet with a 15-year old girl in hopes of landing a featured role on Dateline NBC’s “To Catch a Predator.” Wonder if they pay royalties?
Here are some photos of me hanging out at the after party with some of my close comic friends and high-powered business associates. I am so pimp, but that doesn’t alleviate the crushing sadness that is attached to the heavy burden of being Internet’s Martin Sargent.
Me and the chick who begged me to bring her. Big mistake.
With Unscrewed’s executive producer Paul Block and my good comic pal Lewis Black.
My date embarrassing me. Lewis Black was so over us pretending we are friends.
A very fine comic, Nick Swardson.
Fuck, I look worse than Greg Giraldo…
My trusty manager, Hollywood Howard Lapides, taking a shot from the vodka ice flow. He sipped 15% from every drink I ordered that night…
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